Henry works long hours and Gail just doesn’t feel that he is there for her anymore. Gail devotes her time to the children, making sure that their needs are meet and Henry just feels that she isn’t spending any time with him. Can their relationship be saved? Should the relationship be saved? Here’s how to save a relationship.
The first decision that must be made is whether or not the relationship is worth saving. Almost any relationship can, with hard work, be saved. Both parties have to want to make it work. If one partner has chosen to get out and doesn’t want back in, then not much can be done.
If its convenient, many people will stay in a relationship or stay in a marriage because of the children. This is seldom enough. How to save a relationship begins with commitment by both parties involved, both must feel that the relationship they have is worth saving.
You need to pinpoint the problem(s) in the relationship. The biggest problem in how to save a relationship is caused by people believing the symptoms of their problem are the problem itself.
A good example, for instance, is that people think an affair is a problem that causes breakups. The affair is just a symptom of a deeper issue. For instance, a lack of intmacy can lead to a straying spouse. Most people will look at the affair as the problem, while the underlying cause is the lack of intimacy in the primary relationship. If the underlying cause is not dealt with, another affair might be avoided by the use of guilt, but another problem can and often does pop up because the cre issue hasn’t been dealt with.
Dealing with the core issues rather then with symptoms is how you save a relationship.
Identify the core problems and then you begin sharing your thoughts. Both of you must verbalize your own feelings and listen to your partner’s concerns. Holding your partner’s hand as you are talking about your issues is a sign that you want to reconnect even though you emotions are swirling. If your partner begins talking about things that hurt you, they are not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. They do it because they want to save or improve the relationship.
Create an action plan once you have detailed the problems in your relationship. this will help solve them. Start taking concrete steps on your plan of action. If your not dating like you used to, start! Spend time together. You both need to come up with creative ways to spend time with each other every week. If the problem is lack of communication, make a commitment to spend 20 or 30 minutes, before going to bed, just talking to each other. Just do it!
Saving a relationship is an ongoing process, you should realize that. Your going to be moving forward and the taking a step back. You will be experiencing both tears and laughter as you move forward. Quick to apoligize and slow to blame is the way you ned to be.
Think your relationship is worth saving? If you think so, I’ve just described in this article how to save a relationship.
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