Admitting you need counseling can be difficult. No-one likes to feel like a failure, or that they can’t handle their problems themselves. But marriage and family counseling can help in any stage of a relationship to keep problems from becoming unresolvable and destroying your relationship. If you want to get your partner to agree to and aren’t sure how to bring it up, these 3 tips will help make it easier.
Marriage and family counseling doesn’t carry the stigma it used to, but men more so than women tend to be resistant to it. It’s not pride or stubbornness…it’s fear. Opening up to a stranger and admitting problems can be scary, and it’s very common to worry about being judged or blamed. You need to approach the subject with care and compassion:
1. Be a solution-seeker, not a judge. If he feels like you are accusing him of being the problem and needing counseling, he’ll likely shut you down. Let him know that you just want help for yourself in dealing with the situation so you can solve the problem, and ask if he’d like to help you do that together. Men like to solve problems…they don’t like feeling like the problem.
2. Make it about you. Be honest about the things you need to work on in your relationship, and don’t bring up what you think he needs to work on. Let him know that you want to become a better partner to him and that counseling will help you do that, and you’d like his input along the way. If you can admit that you’ve been doing some things wrong, he will feel safe about admitting his own contribution to the problem and open to learning how to change.
3. Reassure him. Many men feel that counseling signifies the beginning of the end. Let him know that if that were true, you wouldn’t want counseling in the first place – it’s because you love him and treasure your relationship that you want to learn how to be a better partner for him, and you’re willing to make some changes in order to do that.
At this point, he should feel better about the idea. But if he still refuses to go, go on your own. Remember that his refusal is likely rooted in fear. If he sees you going and feeling better, and handling your issues in a better way (still without blame or judgement towards him), he will likely decide that it’s safe to give it a try.
Never be afraid to suggest counseling. Just understand that men and women approach the idea differently, and that his reaction has nothing to do with his commitment or love for you. You can’t force him to go, nor should you. By keeping the focus on what you want counseling to do for you and working on your own issues, you will help both your relationship, and your man.
Can’t afford marriage and family counseling? Get free advice and methods that have been proven to work and that you can use today at http://www.secondchanceatlove.info
Carrie Bradford is a matchmaker and relationship/dating coach who has survived more breakups (and friends’ breakups) than she’d care to remember. Her claim to relationship fame: she successfully reunited with her husband after a two-year separation and a whole lotta mess. They’ve been happily married now for over 13 years. Carrie is currently working on an ebook, which will be available…well, whenever she manages to finish it (she’s crossing her fingers on this one.)
Post Footer automatically generated by Add Post Footer Plugin for wordpress.
