In the past 20 years, the virtual dating game has changed significantly. Wait! 20 years ago there was very little virtual dating. Remember the “pina colada” song? That song was about a man and a woman who both placed personal ads in the newspaper. That is how personals were done back then.
However, now with the explosion of the Net, social networking sites, IM, cell phones and texting, the game has changed. The great news is that technology has expanded the pool of potential dates exponentially! There are a large number of sites to meet somebody for love, romance, and a fling, or whatever you are looking for.
As with anything, there are pro’s and con’s to the virtual dating game. First, the benefits…
There is a significantly increased pool of potential dates. In addition to the dating world changing, so has the definition of family and work. It used to be the case that once you left work, you were done. Now, in the age of blackberries, we never leave work. This can make it difficult for folks to find the time to go out to bars or join social activities in order to meet dates. Also, if you do go out to bars, most people go to the same places all of the time. Your pool of dating candidates is very small. When you use dating sites of the internet, you have many, many, many more options.
You get the opportunity to meet folks who are in different social circles…someone wonderful you may have never imagined meeting in a bar. Maybe you like rock climbing, or you love to read. maybe you are very outgoing. You might never meet that quiet rock climber in your rock climbing group, but online that commonality can draw you together.
Internet dating allows for pre-screening even before your first conversation. Dating sites let members post pictures, answers questions and write essays about who they are. Before having a first conversation with someone you will know what they look like, if they have kids, what they enjoy doing in their free time, where they live, etc.
More and more people are using online dating as their genre of choice. Technology and the internet and being used more and more for everything from booking a vacation to buying a home, to getting a date! If you do not view internet dating, you are ruling out a huge pool of potential dates.
Many people meet online and end up getting married. Whatever you are looking for…short-term relationship, long-term, marriage, or a fling, you can find it online. You can look at mainstream sites, or niche sites. Some sites cater to folks looking for a casual encounter. Other sites cater to folks looking for something more long term.
The virtual dating game can boost your confidence and remind you that there are many dating options for you. If you are feeling lonely, go online. You will see many kindred spirits looking for a connection. There is a huge sea of fish, and all you have to do is go online and get fishing!
For all of the great benefits the internet offers, there are also several draw backs.
To begin with, internet dating can be addictive. That’s right; it can be a huge time suck. It can be a huge ego booster to receive attention from numerous folks online. It can be fun to check email and see who is on IM. It can be liberating to chat about love and sex with someone online. It can also be easy to spend more and more time doing all of those things and suddenly be doing nil but that (outside of work). Life is about having a levelheaded balance and setting your own “online boundaries and limits.”
You may encounter some dishonest folks. People lie, in person and on the internet. However, it is easier to lie on the internet. Over time folks can gain weight, stop working out, get some grey in their hair, lose their hair, etc. The picture you see may be when they were 10 years younger, thinner and in great shape. They may look very different when you meet them in person. When looking at profiles, look for the ones that have many pictures posted. These tend to be the most realistic internet daters. If someone only has 1 or 2 pictures posted ask them to email you some more. Also, ask many questions before meeting someone to determine if they have made up a false persona, or if they are who they say they are. If they are vague in their answers, be wary.
You cannot get the same feel for “chemisty” as you can in person. We all know how chemistry feels, exhilarating and exciting. You have it or you don’t. Chemistry is ambiguous. Online, it is easy to become excited about the “ideal person” whom you have met on the internet. You chat well, the phone conversations have been great, and they seem like everything you ever wanted in someone. Then…you meet. Oh, now the conversation isn’t flowing. Oh, now the attraction isn’t what you thought it would be. Sigh…you were so excited about your fantasy person.
It can tempt you into a long distance relationship. As previously mentioned, there is a vast sea of dating possibilities. However, sometimes this can lead us to start conversations with people who do not live close to us. Long distance relationships can be difficult.
Virtual dating can open a world of possibilities. If you implement a few rules, you will benefits and may be able to find the person of your dreams.
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